I wonder if my students feel like that.

I’ve recently had a knee operation and have been spending some time recuperating.
After a long period of hobbling around, prior to the op, I’m highly motivated to get back to my normal movement and ability.

As part of my recovery I’ve been going to a gym/aquatic centre. I ride a bike for 15 minutes, do my stretches and exercises. I head for the warm water pool and spa and alternate between walking relaxing and stretching. Nothing too difficult, nothing to strenuous. But as usual as I’m doing my thing my brain kicks in and thoughts emerge and swirl.

I know the gym is good for me and I’ve got lots to improve on.

I wonder if my students feel like that.

I can choose when I go and what I do.

I wonder if my students feel like that.

I know the bike helps my leg, it gets things moving, it will help me get to where I want to be, it’s good for me.

I wonder if my students feel like that.

I don’t want to ride the bike.

I wonder……

I know there’ll be something nice afterwards, it’s like a reward, but I don’t care I don’t want to.

I wonder……

I understand the logic, the reasoning; the consequences, I don’t want to.

I wonder……

I get on the bike, 15 minutes is too long, I don’t want to.

I wonder……

Surely I can just do some, but if I don’t do it all, I’ve failed, if I fail now I might be more likely to fail next time.

I wonder……

I start, I don’t want to, my head’s buzzing… 15 minutes too much, I don’t want to… maybe 10 minutes. I stop looking at the ‘massive task’ in front of me, listen to the music, 15 minutes only 4 or 5 songs- less if they’re Van’s songs).

I wonder……

I don’t look at the end, I look at what I’ve done. 3 minutes. Well that’s less than half of 5 minutes. 5 minutes. Well that’s half of 10 (don’t think about the 15) 7 minutes, I’m nearly half way there, almost the top of the hill, it just gets closer from there.

I wonder……

I get it done. I’m glad. I can bank that one away as a time I made it, I know I did, I know I can.

And I wonder…..

How do I help my students when they don’t want to?

Do I recognise that it’s probably more than just not wanting to?

Do I understand that reasoning is generally futile in overcoming feelings?

How many times can they feel like they failed before they stop believing they can do it?

Do I acknowledge that their feelings are real to them?

Do I create activities that minimise the confrontation?

Do I acknowledge their feelings and value them when they resist?

And I wonder…


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